How are we making ourselves available

 This weekend we hung out with our friends who served in Kenya for 5 years.  I can't believe none of us had a camera!  It was "good times" (and yes, I think that term is entirely overused, but appropriate this weekend).   So anyway, it was more than your usual just hanging out at the lake kind of day.  It was good conversation, that challenged both Luke and I, and the conversations between us haven't stopped.  Our friend Dave asked us - if we could design God's plan or call in our lives, what would it look like.  At first I gave some lame answer.  Then after more thought I realized that my desire is to be on the front-lines providing food to the hungriest, and medicine to the sickest.  I would like to be the hands giving relief.  Now I have no idea if God will ever call me to fill that role, but Dave brought up some good questions.  Could we go, if we heard Him ask us to?  Or are we so tied down with commitments, obligations, and things, that it would seem impossible to make happen?  Are we setting up our lives to be more secure, and stable here, or in a way that frees us up to be whatever, go wherever God calls us to?  Who knows if God will ever call us to go overseas, but even if he doesn't (which Luke is hoping), we want to be in a place where we can receive His call on our lives, and be obedient.  We realized that our lives are complicated with self-employment, business loans, mortgages, amongst various other ties and commitments.  At any given point we could list off a dozen reasons why we are 'stuck" where we are, and unable to be used in a radical way.  This makes me sad.  I'm not sure how we go about changing that.  We have spent years setting ourselves up with the future in mind, financial security being a main priority.  Not a life of great wealth, but the necessity to plan for a retirement (things you have to think about when you are self-employed).  It's very hard to reconcile the two different schools of thought.  Something we are both processing.....